Let the countdown begin!

35 Weeks with the Gentlemen

35 Weeks with Little Lady

We are now in the final month before baby girl is due to arrive!  With that, comes lots of new insights, experiences and well...unpleasantries of being pregnant.  Overall, I will say that in spite of being uncomfortable and suffering from insomnia this pregnancy still is no comparison to carrying twins.  Last week I took a belly shot of myself and compared it to one I took two years ago while pregnant with the gentlemen and it's just crazy how much smaller I am this time!  My poor belly was so incredibly stretched by the end of my twin pregnancy that I had absolutely no feeling around my belly button.  We're talking a six inch wide strip all the way up and down my belly that had zero feeling.  So bizarre! It's there this time, but not nearly as bad and certainly nothing that bothers me.  There are definitely unique experiences this time though that are entirely new.

Warning!  If you're squeamish or don't really care to hear about the reality of pregnancy, skip ahead.  

First of all, baby girl has lots of room in there.  My uterus is quite elastic having been previously stretched out to the max.  So on the plus side, she's in a nice and cozy vertex (head down) position and sinking lower and lower every day.  With my gents, T was the first to lock and load and he didn't really drop until the day I delivered him.

What does this all mean? If pregnancy is foreign to you, let me enlighten you to some of the joys that come with a baby dropping down into the pelvis.  You walk funny.  That may not sound like a big deal, but the reason you walk funny isn't simply that there's a head between your hips.  It's also because every single time you stand up you feel as if your bladder is about to explode.  No joke!  It's like you chugged a big gulp, have been stuck in traffic and are finally getting a chance to go an hour later.  Now repeat that over and over throughout the day...and night.

Another fun event is referred to as "lightning cervix".  Classy, I know!  This refers to a sharp pain caused by the baby's head pressing against the plethora of nerve endings down there.  It feels like your child is packing a pocket knife and with all her might is stabbing trying to create an exit.  From what I've read, it doesn't really do anything.  The baby, in fact, is not going to fall out of you at any minute.  It just means that the baby hit a sweet spot and that you're getting near the end of your pregnancy.

One positive of a dropped baby is that the sudden change in placement in your abdomen is giving your lungs and other vital organs a bit more room!  This translates to being munchy all the time, regaining the ability to breath deeply and I've been told it can also give you a few glorious weeks of energy.  Oh how I need that energy!  I want to nest!

Okay.  I'm done talking about female anatomy!  All who skipped ahead, begin here.

Two weeks ago, my family got to go to our gents' little buddy's 3rd birthday party.  His mom, my dear friend, just gave birth to beautiful twin boys!  So proud of her.  We had a brief chat about how different our experiences are and debating who has it worse;  Twins then a singleton or a singleton before twins. Ultimately, my opinion on this matter is simply that there are too many extenuating circumstances surrounding motherhood and pregnancy that it's impossible to decide who's life is more complicated.  But it has got me thinking about how my life is changing and how it's different from the gentlemen's early days.

When I was in my third trimester with my twins, I wasn't working.  Working was just too much and we were blessed with a choice.  I chose to take it easy.  There were many days that I spent lounging in my pj's watching TV all day long without lifting a finger.  My doctor never put me on bed rest, but if I am to be honest, I kind of put myself on it.  Everything hurt all the time!  It was pretty miserable.  I am thankful that I didn't have another full term pregnancy to compare to because it was sheer ignorance and acceptance that this was my 'normal' that got me through.

Do I have a job today?  You bet I do!  I am a stay at home mom of twins.  This is the hardest job physically, mentally and emotionally I have ever had.  And I love it.  Whenever I feel like complaining about how hard it is to be pregnant with kids climbing all over you demanding every ounce of attention you can muster, I think about my mom, grandmothers, and all the other women before me.  And I try to suck it up!  Stress try.  It's still hard.  Being in your third trimester is a lot for any woman to handle and there are so many moments throughout the day where all I want to do is sit quietly or take a nap and unless that happens during the boys' nap time, or daddy's there to take over, I'm out of luck.  I can see that in their two year old reasoning, they understand that mommy is sleepy, but that doesn't take away from the fact that they need my undivided attention right now.

I lean HEAVILY on my husband.  He's a trooper.  This morning I woke up at 4:30 after a bad dream and was wide awake.  At around 7:30, when the gents were up demanding breakfast and I was passing out on the couch, he took one look at the situation and told me to go lay down in bed.  I did and slept until 10:30.  When I got up, the boys were happily playing, the kitchen was clean and my exhausted hubby was hard at work at his computer trying to do his actual job.  He may not have been happy about how his morning turned out, but he never complained.  I am so thankful to have him share all of these burdens with me.  He may not be pregnant but he feels the burdens just as much as I do, just differently.  I hope he fully knows how much I love and respect him.  Tomorrow, he starts a new job which will take him away from being a working from home dad.  I am nervous, but I know God is in control and everything will work out just fine.

We are now in the 'take everything as it comes, one day at a time' phase.  I know that this chapter is about to close and the world of newborns is no picnic either, so since this potentially is my last pregnancy, I'm trying to focus on the positives and cherish these last few weeks of kicks and intimate cuddles with my baby girl.  It really is a surreal, special experience.

Visitors from OR!

One of my favorite people on this planet happens to be my friend Red from college.  We met at a bonfire mixer during the first week of our freshman year and have been there for each other ever since.  She and I have one of those special relationships where months can pass between conversations but when we see each other, we just pick right back up where we left off.  And we've also been blessed to be going through life's major changes close to the same time.

The most recent of those 'next chapter' moments was motherhood.  My boys were born May 2012, and her precious little Moberry (love the nickname, Red!  I'm totally using it for her forever!) was born Oct 2013.  Jason and I had no plans of having more children down the road, and our apartment at the time was too cozy to store everything, so when Red told me she was expecting, I offered her pretty much everything I had.  She got my maternity wardrobe and a bunch of baby gear.  At the time, she kept making statements like, "Thanks for letting me borrow all of this!"  I quickly corrected her and said I didn't want/need it back.  She smiled, said okay and left it at that.

Fast forward to December of 2013. I peed on a stick. PANIC!  Red was one of the first people I called in hysterics.  I should clarify, I wasn't upset about being pregnant.  I was afraid of losing another baby to miscarriage.  Having lost three before the gentlemen...I have baggage.  Red let me cry over the phone.  She listened.  We prayed together. And then she said without skipping a beat that she was going to send me 'our stash' of maternity clothes and that she would bring me all of OUR baby gear.  Just keepin' it in the family!  Back in February I got a lovely box of clothes just as my belly was starting to protrude, and yesterday I got a special delivery of baby gear with Mom and baby in tow.

Our visit was so low key and relaxing.  We talked, we cooked, we dealt with our kids and never had to worry about the other judging or demanding anything.  We understand what it means to be a mother and support each other in that struggle adventure.  And now, I get to talk all girly with her as we await the arrival of my baby girl. It's wonderful!

I have other friends in my life who I absolutely adore, but sadly am falling, or have fallen out of touch with and it's simply because we're just not in the same chapters right now.  Perhaps Red and I will have times in our life like that, but I am so thankful to know that we'll always be able to pick back up where we left off. She is my kind of people.



On a side note: Thank you for the practice of taking care of my gents with a baby on my hip!  It was a good dress rehearsal.  ;-)

Night and Day

You often hear the phrase, "What a difference a day makes."  Well, that saying couldn't be more poignant for my family than the last 24+ hours.  As I've shared, we are on the journey of transitioning our 2 year old twins to big boy beds.  Tonight will mark one full week in this new arrangement.  I'm really pleased with how it's going, but yesterday was tough.  Buckle in.  This is a long one.

I didn't sleep well on Tuesday night, which meant that Wednesday was set up for disaster.  Being a full time mom is hard enough when your tanks are full, but when you're running on fumes...just...yeah.  Even though this was yesterday, I'm having a hard time recalling all of the little details of the day simply because I was that tired.

The morning was full of cranky kiddos not wanting to share, being bored, refusing to eat the food set before them and just overall defiance.  By the time nap time rolled around, I was just ready for a break.  I put them in their beds, gave them kisses and said, "night, night!"  Unfortunately, they had other plans.  For a solid hour and a half, I kept going in there trying to calm them down to sleep.  I tried scolding them, sitting with them, pleading with them and every other trick I could think of, but to no avail.  They just wouldn't sleep.

So finally, I gave up on enforcing it and left them in their room thinking that the quiet time might be enough.  That perhaps my boys didn't need a nap that day.  Yeah, it didn't work.  They came out of their room after I decided that they had had enough quiet time and the chaos continued.  We had a few peaceful moments, but all in all they were little brats.  Around 3:00, we sat down for a snack.  As they ate their food, I was making Jason and I a treat of hot chocolate on the stove.  I was stirring the chocolaty goodness with a whisk to ensure a smooth creamy texture.  The sound of the whisk moving through the pan at a steady rhythmic pace must have been entrancing because when I turned around to look at the gents, they were both falling asleep!  The realist in me knew this was not good and saw into our future the bedtime that was soon to come, but the overly exhausted, wanting to throw in the towel mom was thankful for the peace.

They slept for two hours.  

We got them up, had dinner, played for a bit and then...bedtime.  Jason took charge last night, but it took two full hours of "everything in the book" before they finally went to sleep.  We were both left...empty.  We stayed up until midnight rehashing the events of the day and went to bed feeling somewhat defeated.  There was no light at the end of our tunnel... 

And then God threw us a bone!  

He gave us today!

I woke up this morning to the sound of the boys playing in their room (our new normal).  It was about 6:30ish.  I felt surprisingly refreshed, went and got them and off we went with our day.  With my rested demeanor I was able to get a ton accomplished before 10:00 am!  The boys were behaving and genuinely fun to be around all morning.  It was great!  

Nap time came, and after discussing things with Jason the night before, I put our new enforcement plan in motion.  First, I tucked the boys in bed.  Then I read them two books, with the stipulation that I would only read them if they stayed tucked in bed.  They seemed to get the picture quick on that one.  It made me smile inside like, "Holy crap! It's working!!!"  Next I said it was nap time and they needed to go to sleep.  I kissed them, said I loved them and walked out.  Within probably 20 seconds, they were getting out of their bed, so I walked back in, said it was nap time, put them back in bed and walked out.  After that, every time I went in their room I simply tucked them back in silently.  I think that once they realized it wasn't a game and that I wasn't going to stop, they went to sleep.  It took about 40 minutes.  Now, I know 40 minutes is a long time, but honestly, after yesterday, I was thrilled that they were asleep!

The rest of the day was lovely as well.  They napped for a solid two hours.  We all hopped in the car and headed to town for a much "needed" ice cream treat.  The boys even got their own bowl this time.  Strawberry ice cream with sprinkles!  They were so happy.  :-)  We came home and I was overcome with sleepiness, so we had some TV cuddle time.  My darling husband seeing me like this was kind enough to make dinner.  It was delicious!  He made spinach lasagna roles and it was an all around hit with the boys!  We didn't have enough spinach in the fridge, so Jason went out to our garden and added some fresh kale to it.  Normally all that green stuff would be picked out, but not tonight!  They ate it up!  VICTORY!!!  

After dinner, we commenced bedtime.  They got in the tub, in which I added some lavender/chamomile essential oils to help them relax, got on their pj's, brushed their teeth, and got in bed.  I read them a story with the same rule as at nap time that if they wanted me to keep reading they had to stay tucked in bed.  As a side note, the book I read tonight is a personal favorite.  It was a gift from their aunt and uncle.  It's called "Journey"  by Aaron Becker.  Check it out!  When the story was done, I sang their bedtime song, "Now the Light has gone away".  It's a beautiful hymn my mom used to sing to me as a child.  I love it.  We gave kisses, said goodnight and walked out.  Jason again took charge and with our new routine, the boys were quiet and asleep within 30 minutes!!!

So yeah.  Night and Day.  I know tomorrow could be another crazy ride, but I am so grateful for today.  It's a reminder to me that parenting is not an exact science and raising twins is just another dimension to that challenge, but if you don't give up and keep adapting to what works for your family, you can have happy days like we had today.  Was it perfect?  Nope.  But it's one that I'll put happily in the 'success' column.

Meal Planning Upgrade!

Let me begin this post by admitting that I am not a very organized or efficient person by nature.  My brain tends to be a jumbled mess of ideas and possibilities that often get stalled in the getting started phase.  I have always worked best when I have directions to follow, a proper how-to guide in front of me.

When it comes to food, this translates as follows.  I'm a solid baker.  My mom did a great job teaching me all about ratios and the proper method of mixing wet/dry ingredients.  To this day, my husband rejoices when a batch of biscuits or scones go in the oven.  Those recipes are always consistent, so the end result has always been predictable as well.  I love baking!

What I don't love?  General meal planning and preparation.  I have always found this particular task to be overwhelming and debilitating.  My culinary education was as a sous chef.  I was always cutting and stirring, but I never made the flavor profile connection.  So until I met my husband, a self proclaimed foodie and adventurous cook, I never ventured very far outside my culinary comfort zone.  We've known each other for ten years now and so my education has come a long way in that time.

The most recent development is that we've adopted a predominantly pescitarian lifestyle in the last year.  If that term is new to you, as it was to me a few years back, a pescitarian diet consists of vegetarian plus fish.  We also throw in ground turkey and the very occasional chicken, but for the most part, this is our way of life.  Seeing as I grew up in Minnesota, fish was not the predominant protein on the menu.  I was raised in a meat and potato kind of world, where the only fish dish that made it to the menu on a regular basis was tuna casserole.

I feel like I'm starting from scratch.  Most of my go to recipes no longer apply, or at least not in their original state.  I'm having to scour the web for new ideas, techniques and ingredients to expand my culinary horizons all the time.  Thankfully, there are tons of websites and apps available to help make my life easier.  So for this not so organized, carb-loving baker, here's how I've been getting it done!

1) Pinterest:  I treat Pinterest as my cookbook.  It's one of my daily activities for decompressing after chasing the Gentlemen around endlessly.  Sure, it's crazy addictive, but I do my best to use the recipes and ideas off that website as much as possible and not just drool over other people's lives.

2) Any Do:  Another great app!  It's my everyday task manager. This is where I usually build my grocery list.  Jason has it too, so we can share lists with each other and add things as necessary.

3) Safeway:  This company has hit the nail on the head with this app.  I love that they do a lot of the coupon search for you and post it all right there.  A new Safeway opened up near us last month and I decided to switch from the Albertsons nearby to see if there was a noticeable change in quality and cost.  On average, I've been spending about $30/week less at Safeway!  Not to mention the gas credits.  Cha ching!

4) Food Planner:  My new life changing/ I've been waiting and searching for an app like this for years tool.  It's quickly replacing my need for different apps on my phone/computer.  You'll have to check it out for yourself and see, but it allows you to plan your meals, import/download recipes, build shopping lists, have a running kitchen inventory, calendar, and the ability to build full menus.  And if you want to make your life even simpler, you can purchase preset meal plans through their store.  Best part: the app itself is free!

Confession, I haven't been using Food Planner as fully as I could.  It drives Jason nuts when he sees me going back and forth between applications trying to build my grocery list.  So today I finally started importing full recipes and using the grocery list feature.  Why did I hold out for so long?!  It's amazing!!!

5) The Kitchn Blog:  This blog is a personal favorite.  It's full of great seasonal recipes, articles about ingredients & tools, and it also has tons of vegetarian info as well.  Oh and the photography is always pretty.  :-)

Okay.  I'm done feeling like an advertisement.  But seriously, if you're looking for more ways to make your life easier, check these out!  I hope it helps you like it has for me.

Oh, one more thing!  I'd love to hear what you use!  Domestic Divas Unite!!!

Big Boy Beds: Day 2

Last night was our second night of the gentlemen sleeping in their big beds.  This was something we had been planning on for a while for a few reasons.  First of all, with the baby coming in a few months, we need the crib.  And secondly, they've demonstrated that getting out of their beds was getting steadily easier.  The straw that broke the camel's back was on Thursday night when they successfully climbed out of their cribs three times in a row, proving to us that it was no longer a lucky escape but rather a new "fun" skill.

We had already purchased the new twin mattresses, so on Friday, with all kinds of excitement, we set up their new big boy beds!  They were so stinkin' excited about the whole thing.  Something new to play with and discover!  That being the case our first night was a bit of a struggle.

They went to bed at 7:00 as normal, following their usual bedtime routine.  We have a video monitor in their room so Jason stood outside their door and clearly laid down the expectation that it was bed time and they needed to stay in their own beds.  It took only six tries or so before they got the picture and finally went to sleep.

The rest of the night was what we expected.  They switched beds a few times, rolled off the edge (the mattresses are on the floor at this point) and were, not surprisingly, confused by the new arrangement.  Jason said he went in at 1:00 am and put M back in his bed.  At 4:00 am, I woke up to the sound of them throwing their stuffed animals and hitting the walls.  It took me until about 5:00 am to get them to go back to sleep.  Then they were up and ready to play at about 6:30.  So yeah, not a great night for anyone in our home.

Nap time yesterday wasn't much better.  We put them down at 1:00 pm, much later than their usual 11:00 am nap time thinking they'd just pass out.  No such luck.  It took about 40 minutes of going back in their room, putting them back in bed, explaining the expectation that it was nap time before they finally gave in.

So, the combination of a not so good Friday night combined with a less than stellar nap on Saturday meant they were crazy cranky for the rest of the day.  Yeah, that was fun... But thankfully, last night, they went to bed at 7:30 and after only I think 3 reminders passed out.  Best part was that we didn't hear a peep from them until I went in at 7:15 this morning and actually had to wake them up to get ready for church!  Score.

It's currently 1:30 on Sunday, and they've been napping since noon!  Jason only had to remind them twice before they went to sleep.  *Sigh of relief*  With all the horror stories you hear about transitioning from cribs, I was honestly kind of intimidated by this step, especially in light of all the other changes I've shared recently.  But really, I'm feeling pretty good about this!  Sure, there will be rough nights ahead of us, but it doesn't seem impossible anymore.

One little tip:  I saw an idea on Pinterest for using pool noodles under the sheets to help keep them on the beds.  I went to the store and bought some yesterday and last night (and now as they nap) they seem to be doing the trick!  Gotta love Pinterest.

Pearly whites!

The gentlemen had their second ever dentist appointment this morning.  They both did great!  The only problem that arose was their thumb/finger sucking habits are causing problems with their teeth.  Boo!  T sucks his pointer and middle fingers, and M sucks his thumb.  It's interesting to see how sucking the different fingers is actually affecting their teeth differently.  For the life of me I can't remember what she called the misalignments, but I could definitely see what she was talking about when I looked into their mouths.

Her suggestion was to get my hands on this special fingernail polish that tastes gross so they just don't want to suck their fingers.  I decided that first, I'd rather work on being consistent with reminders.  "Boys no sucking on your fingers, please!"

We went to the grocery store after their appointment, which put them way past their nap time.  So the usual pattern would be that they fall asleep in the car.  But that pattern also involves assuming the position.  T's fingers go straight in his mouth and he tugs on his ear with his other hand.  M's thumb goes straight in.  They seemed confused by me asking them to not suck on their fingers and ended up staying awake the entire ride home because of it.  Selfish me was actually fine with that because if they do fall asleep in the car, once we get home they refuse to continue napping and we end up with a very rough afternoon.  As soon as we got home, both boys went down for a nice long nap.  And I'm sure they sucked on their beloved fingers as soon as I shut the door.  But we have to start somewhere.

In our home, we're of the mindset that we'd like to nurture their behaviors around listening to us before resorting to outside measures (special nail polish, bribery, etc...).  I'm not saying we're perfect.  We have resorted to those kinds of thing with different scenarios, but it's not our first line of defense.  It seems to be paying off too!  In general our boys are good listeners, have a decent grasp of right/wrong and I'm not often dealing with screaming public tantrums.  We have our moments.  They are two after all.  But for our family this parenting method seems to be working.

So we'll see.  I'll share our results as they unfold (along with everything else we're changing in their lives).

Recap of our birthing class: "VBAC your way"

When we welcomed our gentlemen into the world in May, 2012, it did not exactly go as planned and it all culminated in having a crash c-section to deliver Mikah safely.  That experience has left serious emotional scars for both myself and Jason.  Back in December, when I found out that I was pregnant again, one of the first things I did was relived their birthday and had anxiety about the idea of giving birth again.

A few weeks back, I was at my midwife appointment with the lovely Louisa Whales and she asked if we had planned on any kind of birthing classes.  When I said I hadn't really given it much thought, she said there was an awesome doula in Seattle named Sharon Muza who taught an awesome class called, "VBAC your way".  Our plan is to have baby girl in a hospital with midwives attending.  Our hope is that I'll be in the 70% bracket of women who have a successful VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean).  And with baby girl being the little rock star she's been so far, I'm feeling very confident that all will go just fine.  Nonetheless, because of our previous traumatic experience, I decided to sign us up for the class.

It was kind of a big commitment because the class was in Ballard at 9:00 am and we live a good 90 minutes away.  When you throw our twins into the mix, we asked Jason's parents if they would be willing to take the boys overnight so we could relax a bit and not have to travel super early on Saturday.  They happily obliged and we were able to go on a date!  Seeing as the last overnight we had without the boys there was last July, it was awesome.

Saturday morning, we got up at our usual time sans the boys calling for us from the other room (so peaceful).  We got all packed and ready, had a surprisingly edible continental breakfast and headed for Ballard.  Traffic was nonexistent so we got to our destination with 30 minutes to spare and decided to grab coffee and a pastry at the bakery we saw across the street.  If ever you're in Ballard, Larson's bakery is worth the stop!  It's a well established Danish bakery with cases packed with both sweet and savory treats.  And the coffee was pretty darn tasty too. : )  The best part of this place for us was the fact that there weren't two little boys with us so we were able to fully sit and enjoy some quality people watching.

I looked at my clock and saw that it was probably time for us to head to class so we packed up and walked down the street to the building.  We weren't exactly sure where to enter, but thankfully spotted another couple in front of us with a very pregnant mama and followed them to the entrance.

The class was held in a cozy well lit room that thankfully had a working air conditioner.  Seeing as it hit 90 that day, we were all thankful for that.  The session started with all the couples introducing themselves.  Amazingly enough, one of the dads said he grew up in a small town in MN.  When I said that I did too and asked him where he was from, he said, "Mankato".  We looked to be about the same age, so it's likely we know some of the same people, but we were never able to chat about that, so it'll remain a mystery.  Even still, small world!

In an effort to finish this post and have time to get my chores done, here's an overview of the topics and activities that the class covered.

• We all shared our cesarean birth stories.  Lots of tears and pain for sure!  It was comforting to have others who could truly sympathize.
• Went over the 6 stages of Labor
• Lamase care practices
• Labor simulation involving a bowl of ice and experimenting with coping techniques.  That was probably on of our favorite/most useful parts.
• VBAC statistics: putting it into perspective.
• Sharing fears and concerns about our upcoming labor/deliveries.
• Exercises to assist in getting baby into an ideal birthing position.
• Techniques to help with back labor (counter pressure, asymmetrical movement, using a Rebozo)
• Ace in the hole positions for pushing.

It was a great class!  We both left feeling empowered with a clear idea of the direction we are going as we prepare for baby girl's arrival.  She gave us so many tools to pull from and for that I will be forever grateful.  Most of what she said could be taken out of a book, but her passion combined with her knowledge and experience gave the information so much more weight and I know I'll have her voice pop in my head when I come to those moments of self doubt.

There were a few big "Aha!" moments for me.

• Don't get fixated on one stage of Labor!  There's more to it than dilation.
• When it comes to childbirth, you're going to get there.  One way or another, you're going to get there.
• DEP:  When in labor, Drink, Eat and Pee constantly.
• I'm an adult and can make my own decisions when it comes to my care.
• Eating 6 dates/day in the final weeks of pregnancy will make you less likely to go overdue.
• The heaviest part of the baby is the back of the head so use gravity and get yourself upright!

One other story to share from the class was there was a study done in three major hospitals (can't recall where) that did an experiment and removed all the beds from their labor & delivery rooms.  They filled them with birthing balls, a birthing stool, a rocking chair and an assortment of other birthing tools.  At any time if the mother wanted to have her bed, it was brought to her swiftly.  No questions.  If she wanted any other medical interventions, they were made readily available.  But the result of this experiment was not so surprisingly that these hospitals experienced a lower c-section rate, fewer interventions and all around much more satisfied and happy mothers/families.  So Sharon's advice to us was that when we got to the hospital, to spread our stuff out on the bed.  It's a great place to see everything we brought easily!  I thought that was a great piece of advice.

Sharon was great!  I'd recommend her class to anyone.