Birth story of our little lady

She's finally here! Our little lady decided to make a grand entrance into this world eleven days past her due date. In the days leading up to her birthday I had a seemingly constant stream of early labor symptoms.  I lost the plug...twice.  I had multiple episodes of false labor including one that I was so convinced that we actually went to the hospital only to be monitored, checked and told to go home until I couldn't talk through the contractions. That was devastating! That happened on Friday Oct 3rd.

Fast forward to Monday the 6th...ursssz

I had a midwife visit that afternoon.  Jason and the gentlemen came with me as my parents had left earlier that day bound for AZ and I was without a chauffeur.  After much consideration and prayer I decided to ask the midwife to sweep my membranes.  At the appointment I sat for a non-stress test. Baby girl was crazy active and had a heart rate in the 180's for a good part of it.  Little stinker!  In the end, she passed with flying colors.  Colette, my midwife, came in and we talked about the game plan for the week. Since Monday marked 41w3d of pregnancy, we had to get real and talk about all of my 'break glass in case of emergency' scenarios.  Membranes that day was step #1, a castor oil milkshake on Tuesday was step #2, a second membrane sweep on Wednesday, and if none of that got the ball rolling, I was scheduled for a cesarean for Thursday.  My heart sank as they handed me the scheduling slip for the c-section, but I was at peace with whatever birth God had in store for us.

We left the office feeling optimistic that this membrane stripping business was the key and that we should just go find some place to walk around and have dinner in case labor did start and we would go back to the hospital.  Our first stop ended up being Target of all places. We putzed around there for probably an hour, bought a couple things and decided to go get dinner. At this point, I was cramping and contracting, but there was no consistent pattern in sight. So what's another old wives tale for induction? Spicy food...Mexican!!! It was tasty (no El Porton of Yakima, WA but still good).  After dinner we found a city park and just ran around. And after all of this...no change in labor patterns. Feeling somewhat defeated, we started thelong trek home.

On our drive, we discussed the logistics of the next few days.  Jason was only granted a limited number of days off and we wanted to save them for after she was born. So we called a few people and made tentative plans for the next three days. Honestly, that was the stuff that stressed me out more than anything.  How was I going to get to the hospital? How was Jason going to get there if he had to go from work? Who would watch the boys during our hospital stay? What if we have an extended hospital stay? And the list goes on...  We said many prayers that night asking for peace that God had everything under control and that when it was time, everything would fall into place.

I went to sleep Monday night contracting, but determined to get as much sleep as possible.  If I was able to fall back asleep after a contraction, then it wasn't go time.  That night, I woke up probably once every hour or two, but was able to go back to sleep. But at 5:00 am, I couldn't go back to sleep. At about 5:20 I got up and got in the shower. Jason came into the bathroom surprised to see me up and I calmly told him that I didn't think he was going to be going to work that day.  After my shower I began timing the contractions.  At first they were holding strong at three minutes apart. They were peaking by now but I was still able to talk through them. But the fact that they were stronger and that close together made us pull the trigger and pack up for the hospital.

We left the house at 6:30. I texted our pastor and asked if we could drop the boys off at their place. His response, "Yup!" God bless that family!  We got to their place around 7:00. By then I had to work through contractions. I decided since we had another 40 minutes to go, I should get out of the car and stretch. Wow that was hard! The contractions had much more intensity than when we left the house. After a 10 minute child hand off, we were back out the door and on the road. In our haste, Jason forgot to leave the bag with the boys clothes. We found out a few days later that other friends with toddler boys generously let our gents borrow clothes. Amazing friends we have.

At 7:15 I texted my siblings, "Thundercats are go!"

We got to Tacoma just after 8:00 am. We sat in the ER waiting room for about 15 minutes.  Thankfully it was a very quiet morning so I was able to focus on the contractions rather than being distracted by others in pain waiting to be seen. The nurse came and got us and we headed up to Labor & Delivery.  They put us in a room. I curled up on the bed and really started to feel miserable. Kathleen was our nurse that morning. She checked my vitals and hooked up the monitors to check the baby and left.  At 9 am she came back in and checked me.  I was a small 5 cm and 70% effaced! I was stoked.  There was no way I was going to be sent home! Or so I thought... Kathleen called my OB who asked that I walk for an hour and see if I made any progress before I was admitted.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Did she not notice how I was vocalizing and really working through the contractions?!  Grr...

Kathleen unhooked the monitors and Jason and I began the craziest two hours of our lives. We walked around the room for a bit and then ventured out to the halls for a bit.  The whole time contracting regularly and hard. We went back to our room and that's about when I started going internal.  My eyes were closed pretty much from then until baby girl was born.  I opened them for a few moments here and there, but after this point it was mostly voices I remember.

Contractions intensified during that hour of walking and back labor began. But in that moment I remembered the blessed double hip squeeze we had practiced in our birthing class. Jason was a rock star and provided that hip pressure during every. single. contraction. Without him I would have completely fallen apart from the pain. But he was right there. He was my rock. He reminded me to relax muscles, made sure I stayed hydrated and was constantly telling me how awesome I was doing. He is my absolute favorite person!

Before long I was bent over a ledge with my head up against a wall swaying my hips from side to side when I felt like things had changed. I nearly lost control at every contraction and in my mind was contemplating asking for an epidural. I never said it out loud though. I thought if I don't say it out loud, then I don't really need it. My prayers asking for strength and endurance also intensified at that point. I asked Jason to get the nurse. This was at 9:50. Kathleen came back in.  I somehow made it back to the bed and she checked me. In a rather shocked voice she said, "Oh! You're at 8 cm and almost completely thinned out!"  She hastily started working and communicating with her team that I needed to get to a delivery room. She asked if I could walk. My thought was are you crazy? I wanted her to let me stay on that bed and just roll the whole thing somewhere. It quickly became clear that that wasn't an option. "Can you sit in a wheel chair?" she asked. Somehow I did. As we hastily made our way through the halls, Kathleen said that Dr. Ho wasn't there yet and she wasn't sure she'd make it in time for the birth. Honestly, I could have cared less who was there as long as I had Jason and got this over with.

We got to the delivery room.  No baby in the hallway! Between contractions I got on the bed. I didn't lay on my back but rather assumed the down on all fours position and refused to move. Kathleen was great! She got the monitors all hooked up all the while working alongside Jason encouraging me and coaching me through the waves of pain. Her voice was so calming. Something in her tone actually reminded me of my cousin, Jessica, who happens to be an L&D nurse in MN. After a handful of contractions, Kathleen checked me. I was fully effaced and just shy of fully dilated. She said with one more good contraction I should be complete and asked if I'd be willing to try a different position using a birthing stool to try and help the baby get in a better position and relieve that awful back labor. The birthing stool was a simple wooden step stool. Nothing fancy. I put my foot on the bottom step and lunged as much as I could handle.  After only two or three contractions like this I felt the ring of fire. I simply said, "It burns! It burns!" It was time to push. It all happened so fast, my Dr. wasn't there yet. The OB on call was standing by just in case. I opened my eyes momentarily and noticed the on call OB sitting in a chair to the side.

They helped me back into bed. I was miserable. I curled up into a ball and just wanted to quit and be done with this. No luck...By now I was feeling the urge to push. That's a crazy sensation! It's like every muscle you never knew existed down there turned on and without your consent started pushing. Everyone in the room told me I needed to pull my legs back.  I honestly thought they were all mad! I kept trying to convince them saying, "I can't."  Thankfully they all knew better and helped support me so that I could.  Jason was on my left, and Kathleen was on my right.  As to everyone else in the room...yeah my eyes were closed so I think there were at least three or four others present. At some point Dr. Ho finally arrived...not sure exactly when...

Feeling your baby descend through the birth canal is such a bizarre sensation unlike any I'd ever experienced. When I had the boys, I had an epidural. It took me four hours to push out T and I felt nothing like what I experienced this time. With each contraction I could feel her head making its way down. It was the most intense pain I've endured. I screamed a few times and was surprised because I didn't know I could scream that high/loud anymore. They all coached me to redirect that energy into pushing. With a new resolve that her being born was truly up to me I did just that. I wanted to make every contraction count!

The baby's heart rate dropped a few times so they had me rotate from side to side.  Thankfully she recovered each time I adjusted position.  With probably 5-6 contractions she was almost crowning. They asked if they could break my water. I agreed. Anything to get it over with! Someone said there was some meconium. When I heard that I knew the clock was ticking before a c-section was mentioned. Next I heard Dr. Ho make a comment on this being a big baby. Not what you say to a woman giving birth! Annoyed. She asked if she could do an episiotomy and use the vacuum. In my desperation to be done I agreed. She made a small cut and used the vacuum more to re-position baby's head than to pull. It did the trick! In one contraction she came shooting out. I was told later that baby girl had her hand up by her face. As soon as her head came out her arm shot out next. Someone called the time of birth: 10:46 am.

I did it!!!

My beautiful baby girl was placed on my chest and quickly started crying. Man can she scream! Because of the meconium in the water, they needed to do a full check up right away. Dr. Ho asked Jason if he wanted to cut the cord. He declined. That's just not his thing. I looked up at him and there were tears in his eyes. So much emotion.

A few more contractions and the placenta was delivered. The Dr. then started pushing on my abdomen to help the uterus contract. That HURT! It kind of surprised me. At about the same time, my baby girl was returned to my chest. She was perfect. I couldn't believe what had just happened. The room cleared out quickly after I was stitched up. Kathleen remained to do all her paperwork and post delivery protocol and another nurse, Jennifer, took the reigns as our primary nurse. She was wonderful as well.

The next hour and a half was spent in the delivery room resting, recovering and falling head over heels in love with our daughter. She started nursing at 11:18 and continued to do so for the next 50 minutes. It was amazing. Once she was done nursing, Jennifer asked if she could weigh and measure her. She weighed 7 lbs 10 oz and was 20.5" long. Her head was 13.5" around. She was not a big baby after all.

We made it to our room in the maternity ward at 2 pm and spent the rest of the day peacefully enjoying our baby. It was weird only having one baby. We had to take turns holding her. There were a few minor hiccups that kept us at the hospital longer than we had hoped, but we were discharged at 4:00 pm on Wednesday, Oct 8th. Jason and I were so ready to go get our boys and go home.

It was a whirlwind adventure, but I wouldn't change a thing. For nine months I had prepared for an unassisted VBAC. You couldn't get more unassisted if you tried! I wasn't even given an IV. Nothing. Kathleen finally admitted me to the hospital after our baby was born. Crazy! Her birth was an absolute gift from God.

Our baby girl is 11 days old today and has already cemented her place in our family. She's a miracle. We are so thankful God gave us this beautiful surprise. She's an absolute joy.

Let the countdown begin!

35 Weeks with the Gentlemen

35 Weeks with Little Lady

We are now in the final month before baby girl is due to arrive!  With that, comes lots of new insights, experiences and well...unpleasantries of being pregnant.  Overall, I will say that in spite of being uncomfortable and suffering from insomnia this pregnancy still is no comparison to carrying twins.  Last week I took a belly shot of myself and compared it to one I took two years ago while pregnant with the gentlemen and it's just crazy how much smaller I am this time!  My poor belly was so incredibly stretched by the end of my twin pregnancy that I had absolutely no feeling around my belly button.  We're talking a six inch wide strip all the way up and down my belly that had zero feeling.  So bizarre! It's there this time, but not nearly as bad and certainly nothing that bothers me.  There are definitely unique experiences this time though that are entirely new.

Warning!  If you're squeamish or don't really care to hear about the reality of pregnancy, skip ahead.  

First of all, baby girl has lots of room in there.  My uterus is quite elastic having been previously stretched out to the max.  So on the plus side, she's in a nice and cozy vertex (head down) position and sinking lower and lower every day.  With my gents, T was the first to lock and load and he didn't really drop until the day I delivered him.

What does this all mean? If pregnancy is foreign to you, let me enlighten you to some of the joys that come with a baby dropping down into the pelvis.  You walk funny.  That may not sound like a big deal, but the reason you walk funny isn't simply that there's a head between your hips.  It's also because every single time you stand up you feel as if your bladder is about to explode.  No joke!  It's like you chugged a big gulp, have been stuck in traffic and are finally getting a chance to go an hour later.  Now repeat that over and over throughout the day...and night.

Another fun event is referred to as "lightning cervix".  Classy, I know!  This refers to a sharp pain caused by the baby's head pressing against the plethora of nerve endings down there.  It feels like your child is packing a pocket knife and with all her might is stabbing trying to create an exit.  From what I've read, it doesn't really do anything.  The baby, in fact, is not going to fall out of you at any minute.  It just means that the baby hit a sweet spot and that you're getting near the end of your pregnancy.

One positive of a dropped baby is that the sudden change in placement in your abdomen is giving your lungs and other vital organs a bit more room!  This translates to being munchy all the time, regaining the ability to breath deeply and I've been told it can also give you a few glorious weeks of energy.  Oh how I need that energy!  I want to nest!

Okay.  I'm done talking about female anatomy!  All who skipped ahead, begin here.

Two weeks ago, my family got to go to our gents' little buddy's 3rd birthday party.  His mom, my dear friend, just gave birth to beautiful twin boys!  So proud of her.  We had a brief chat about how different our experiences are and debating who has it worse;  Twins then a singleton or a singleton before twins. Ultimately, my opinion on this matter is simply that there are too many extenuating circumstances surrounding motherhood and pregnancy that it's impossible to decide who's life is more complicated.  But it has got me thinking about how my life is changing and how it's different from the gentlemen's early days.

When I was in my third trimester with my twins, I wasn't working.  Working was just too much and we were blessed with a choice.  I chose to take it easy.  There were many days that I spent lounging in my pj's watching TV all day long without lifting a finger.  My doctor never put me on bed rest, but if I am to be honest, I kind of put myself on it.  Everything hurt all the time!  It was pretty miserable.  I am thankful that I didn't have another full term pregnancy to compare to because it was sheer ignorance and acceptance that this was my 'normal' that got me through.

Do I have a job today?  You bet I do!  I am a stay at home mom of twins.  This is the hardest job physically, mentally and emotionally I have ever had.  And I love it.  Whenever I feel like complaining about how hard it is to be pregnant with kids climbing all over you demanding every ounce of attention you can muster, I think about my mom, grandmothers, and all the other women before me.  And I try to suck it up!  Stress try.  It's still hard.  Being in your third trimester is a lot for any woman to handle and there are so many moments throughout the day where all I want to do is sit quietly or take a nap and unless that happens during the boys' nap time, or daddy's there to take over, I'm out of luck.  I can see that in their two year old reasoning, they understand that mommy is sleepy, but that doesn't take away from the fact that they need my undivided attention right now.

I lean HEAVILY on my husband.  He's a trooper.  This morning I woke up at 4:30 after a bad dream and was wide awake.  At around 7:30, when the gents were up demanding breakfast and I was passing out on the couch, he took one look at the situation and told me to go lay down in bed.  I did and slept until 10:30.  When I got up, the boys were happily playing, the kitchen was clean and my exhausted hubby was hard at work at his computer trying to do his actual job.  He may not have been happy about how his morning turned out, but he never complained.  I am so thankful to have him share all of these burdens with me.  He may not be pregnant but he feels the burdens just as much as I do, just differently.  I hope he fully knows how much I love and respect him.  Tomorrow, he starts a new job which will take him away from being a working from home dad.  I am nervous, but I know God is in control and everything will work out just fine.

We are now in the 'take everything as it comes, one day at a time' phase.  I know that this chapter is about to close and the world of newborns is no picnic either, so since this potentially is my last pregnancy, I'm trying to focus on the positives and cherish these last few weeks of kicks and intimate cuddles with my baby girl.  It really is a surreal, special experience.

Visitors from OR!

One of my favorite people on this planet happens to be my friend Red from college.  We met at a bonfire mixer during the first week of our freshman year and have been there for each other ever since.  She and I have one of those special relationships where months can pass between conversations but when we see each other, we just pick right back up where we left off.  And we've also been blessed to be going through life's major changes close to the same time.

The most recent of those 'next chapter' moments was motherhood.  My boys were born May 2012, and her precious little Moberry (love the nickname, Red!  I'm totally using it for her forever!) was born Oct 2013.  Jason and I had no plans of having more children down the road, and our apartment at the time was too cozy to store everything, so when Red told me she was expecting, I offered her pretty much everything I had.  She got my maternity wardrobe and a bunch of baby gear.  At the time, she kept making statements like, "Thanks for letting me borrow all of this!"  I quickly corrected her and said I didn't want/need it back.  She smiled, said okay and left it at that.

Fast forward to December of 2013. I peed on a stick. PANIC!  Red was one of the first people I called in hysterics.  I should clarify, I wasn't upset about being pregnant.  I was afraid of losing another baby to miscarriage.  Having lost three before the gentlemen...I have baggage.  Red let me cry over the phone.  She listened.  We prayed together. And then she said without skipping a beat that she was going to send me 'our stash' of maternity clothes and that she would bring me all of OUR baby gear.  Just keepin' it in the family!  Back in February I got a lovely box of clothes just as my belly was starting to protrude, and yesterday I got a special delivery of baby gear with Mom and baby in tow.

Our visit was so low key and relaxing.  We talked, we cooked, we dealt with our kids and never had to worry about the other judging or demanding anything.  We understand what it means to be a mother and support each other in that struggle adventure.  And now, I get to talk all girly with her as we await the arrival of my baby girl. It's wonderful!

I have other friends in my life who I absolutely adore, but sadly am falling, or have fallen out of touch with and it's simply because we're just not in the same chapters right now.  Perhaps Red and I will have times in our life like that, but I am so thankful to know that we'll always be able to pick back up where we left off. She is my kind of people.



On a side note: Thank you for the practice of taking care of my gents with a baby on my hip!  It was a good dress rehearsal.  ;-)

Night and Day

You often hear the phrase, "What a difference a day makes."  Well, that saying couldn't be more poignant for my family than the last 24+ hours.  As I've shared, we are on the journey of transitioning our 2 year old twins to big boy beds.  Tonight will mark one full week in this new arrangement.  I'm really pleased with how it's going, but yesterday was tough.  Buckle in.  This is a long one.

I didn't sleep well on Tuesday night, which meant that Wednesday was set up for disaster.  Being a full time mom is hard enough when your tanks are full, but when you're running on fumes...just...yeah.  Even though this was yesterday, I'm having a hard time recalling all of the little details of the day simply because I was that tired.

The morning was full of cranky kiddos not wanting to share, being bored, refusing to eat the food set before them and just overall defiance.  By the time nap time rolled around, I was just ready for a break.  I put them in their beds, gave them kisses and said, "night, night!"  Unfortunately, they had other plans.  For a solid hour and a half, I kept going in there trying to calm them down to sleep.  I tried scolding them, sitting with them, pleading with them and every other trick I could think of, but to no avail.  They just wouldn't sleep.

So finally, I gave up on enforcing it and left them in their room thinking that the quiet time might be enough.  That perhaps my boys didn't need a nap that day.  Yeah, it didn't work.  They came out of their room after I decided that they had had enough quiet time and the chaos continued.  We had a few peaceful moments, but all in all they were little brats.  Around 3:00, we sat down for a snack.  As they ate their food, I was making Jason and I a treat of hot chocolate on the stove.  I was stirring the chocolaty goodness with a whisk to ensure a smooth creamy texture.  The sound of the whisk moving through the pan at a steady rhythmic pace must have been entrancing because when I turned around to look at the gents, they were both falling asleep!  The realist in me knew this was not good and saw into our future the bedtime that was soon to come, but the overly exhausted, wanting to throw in the towel mom was thankful for the peace.

They slept for two hours.  

We got them up, had dinner, played for a bit and then...bedtime.  Jason took charge last night, but it took two full hours of "everything in the book" before they finally went to sleep.  We were both left...empty.  We stayed up until midnight rehashing the events of the day and went to bed feeling somewhat defeated.  There was no light at the end of our tunnel... 

And then God threw us a bone!  

He gave us today!

I woke up this morning to the sound of the boys playing in their room (our new normal).  It was about 6:30ish.  I felt surprisingly refreshed, went and got them and off we went with our day.  With my rested demeanor I was able to get a ton accomplished before 10:00 am!  The boys were behaving and genuinely fun to be around all morning.  It was great!  

Nap time came, and after discussing things with Jason the night before, I put our new enforcement plan in motion.  First, I tucked the boys in bed.  Then I read them two books, with the stipulation that I would only read them if they stayed tucked in bed.  They seemed to get the picture quick on that one.  It made me smile inside like, "Holy crap! It's working!!!"  Next I said it was nap time and they needed to go to sleep.  I kissed them, said I loved them and walked out.  Within probably 20 seconds, they were getting out of their bed, so I walked back in, said it was nap time, put them back in bed and walked out.  After that, every time I went in their room I simply tucked them back in silently.  I think that once they realized it wasn't a game and that I wasn't going to stop, they went to sleep.  It took about 40 minutes.  Now, I know 40 minutes is a long time, but honestly, after yesterday, I was thrilled that they were asleep!

The rest of the day was lovely as well.  They napped for a solid two hours.  We all hopped in the car and headed to town for a much "needed" ice cream treat.  The boys even got their own bowl this time.  Strawberry ice cream with sprinkles!  They were so happy.  :-)  We came home and I was overcome with sleepiness, so we had some TV cuddle time.  My darling husband seeing me like this was kind enough to make dinner.  It was delicious!  He made spinach lasagna roles and it was an all around hit with the boys!  We didn't have enough spinach in the fridge, so Jason went out to our garden and added some fresh kale to it.  Normally all that green stuff would be picked out, but not tonight!  They ate it up!  VICTORY!!!  

After dinner, we commenced bedtime.  They got in the tub, in which I added some lavender/chamomile essential oils to help them relax, got on their pj's, brushed their teeth, and got in bed.  I read them a story with the same rule as at nap time that if they wanted me to keep reading they had to stay tucked in bed.  As a side note, the book I read tonight is a personal favorite.  It was a gift from their aunt and uncle.  It's called "Journey"  by Aaron Becker.  Check it out!  When the story was done, I sang their bedtime song, "Now the Light has gone away".  It's a beautiful hymn my mom used to sing to me as a child.  I love it.  We gave kisses, said goodnight and walked out.  Jason again took charge and with our new routine, the boys were quiet and asleep within 30 minutes!!!

So yeah.  Night and Day.  I know tomorrow could be another crazy ride, but I am so grateful for today.  It's a reminder to me that parenting is not an exact science and raising twins is just another dimension to that challenge, but if you don't give up and keep adapting to what works for your family, you can have happy days like we had today.  Was it perfect?  Nope.  But it's one that I'll put happily in the 'success' column.

Meal Planning Upgrade!

Let me begin this post by admitting that I am not a very organized or efficient person by nature.  My brain tends to be a jumbled mess of ideas and possibilities that often get stalled in the getting started phase.  I have always worked best when I have directions to follow, a proper how-to guide in front of me.

When it comes to food, this translates as follows.  I'm a solid baker.  My mom did a great job teaching me all about ratios and the proper method of mixing wet/dry ingredients.  To this day, my husband rejoices when a batch of biscuits or scones go in the oven.  Those recipes are always consistent, so the end result has always been predictable as well.  I love baking!

What I don't love?  General meal planning and preparation.  I have always found this particular task to be overwhelming and debilitating.  My culinary education was as a sous chef.  I was always cutting and stirring, but I never made the flavor profile connection.  So until I met my husband, a self proclaimed foodie and adventurous cook, I never ventured very far outside my culinary comfort zone.  We've known each other for ten years now and so my education has come a long way in that time.

The most recent development is that we've adopted a predominantly pescitarian lifestyle in the last year.  If that term is new to you, as it was to me a few years back, a pescitarian diet consists of vegetarian plus fish.  We also throw in ground turkey and the very occasional chicken, but for the most part, this is our way of life.  Seeing as I grew up in Minnesota, fish was not the predominant protein on the menu.  I was raised in a meat and potato kind of world, where the only fish dish that made it to the menu on a regular basis was tuna casserole.

I feel like I'm starting from scratch.  Most of my go to recipes no longer apply, or at least not in their original state.  I'm having to scour the web for new ideas, techniques and ingredients to expand my culinary horizons all the time.  Thankfully, there are tons of websites and apps available to help make my life easier.  So for this not so organized, carb-loving baker, here's how I've been getting it done!

1) Pinterest:  I treat Pinterest as my cookbook.  It's one of my daily activities for decompressing after chasing the Gentlemen around endlessly.  Sure, it's crazy addictive, but I do my best to use the recipes and ideas off that website as much as possible and not just drool over other people's lives.

2) Any Do:  Another great app!  It's my everyday task manager. This is where I usually build my grocery list.  Jason has it too, so we can share lists with each other and add things as necessary.

3) Safeway:  This company has hit the nail on the head with this app.  I love that they do a lot of the coupon search for you and post it all right there.  A new Safeway opened up near us last month and I decided to switch from the Albertsons nearby to see if there was a noticeable change in quality and cost.  On average, I've been spending about $30/week less at Safeway!  Not to mention the gas credits.  Cha ching!

4) Food Planner:  My new life changing/ I've been waiting and searching for an app like this for years tool.  It's quickly replacing my need for different apps on my phone/computer.  You'll have to check it out for yourself and see, but it allows you to plan your meals, import/download recipes, build shopping lists, have a running kitchen inventory, calendar, and the ability to build full menus.  And if you want to make your life even simpler, you can purchase preset meal plans through their store.  Best part: the app itself is free!

Confession, I haven't been using Food Planner as fully as I could.  It drives Jason nuts when he sees me going back and forth between applications trying to build my grocery list.  So today I finally started importing full recipes and using the grocery list feature.  Why did I hold out for so long?!  It's amazing!!!

5) The Kitchn Blog:  This blog is a personal favorite.  It's full of great seasonal recipes, articles about ingredients & tools, and it also has tons of vegetarian info as well.  Oh and the photography is always pretty.  :-)

Okay.  I'm done feeling like an advertisement.  But seriously, if you're looking for more ways to make your life easier, check these out!  I hope it helps you like it has for me.

Oh, one more thing!  I'd love to hear what you use!  Domestic Divas Unite!!!

Big Boy Beds: Day 2

Last night was our second night of the gentlemen sleeping in their big beds.  This was something we had been planning on for a while for a few reasons.  First of all, with the baby coming in a few months, we need the crib.  And secondly, they've demonstrated that getting out of their beds was getting steadily easier.  The straw that broke the camel's back was on Thursday night when they successfully climbed out of their cribs three times in a row, proving to us that it was no longer a lucky escape but rather a new "fun" skill.

We had already purchased the new twin mattresses, so on Friday, with all kinds of excitement, we set up their new big boy beds!  They were so stinkin' excited about the whole thing.  Something new to play with and discover!  That being the case our first night was a bit of a struggle.

They went to bed at 7:00 as normal, following their usual bedtime routine.  We have a video monitor in their room so Jason stood outside their door and clearly laid down the expectation that it was bed time and they needed to stay in their own beds.  It took only six tries or so before they got the picture and finally went to sleep.

The rest of the night was what we expected.  They switched beds a few times, rolled off the edge (the mattresses are on the floor at this point) and were, not surprisingly, confused by the new arrangement.  Jason said he went in at 1:00 am and put M back in his bed.  At 4:00 am, I woke up to the sound of them throwing their stuffed animals and hitting the walls.  It took me until about 5:00 am to get them to go back to sleep.  Then they were up and ready to play at about 6:30.  So yeah, not a great night for anyone in our home.

Nap time yesterday wasn't much better.  We put them down at 1:00 pm, much later than their usual 11:00 am nap time thinking they'd just pass out.  No such luck.  It took about 40 minutes of going back in their room, putting them back in bed, explaining the expectation that it was nap time before they finally gave in.

So, the combination of a not so good Friday night combined with a less than stellar nap on Saturday meant they were crazy cranky for the rest of the day.  Yeah, that was fun... But thankfully, last night, they went to bed at 7:30 and after only I think 3 reminders passed out.  Best part was that we didn't hear a peep from them until I went in at 7:15 this morning and actually had to wake them up to get ready for church!  Score.

It's currently 1:30 on Sunday, and they've been napping since noon!  Jason only had to remind them twice before they went to sleep.  *Sigh of relief*  With all the horror stories you hear about transitioning from cribs, I was honestly kind of intimidated by this step, especially in light of all the other changes I've shared recently.  But really, I'm feeling pretty good about this!  Sure, there will be rough nights ahead of us, but it doesn't seem impossible anymore.

One little tip:  I saw an idea on Pinterest for using pool noodles under the sheets to help keep them on the beds.  I went to the store and bought some yesterday and last night (and now as they nap) they seem to be doing the trick!  Gotta love Pinterest.

Pearly whites!

The gentlemen had their second ever dentist appointment this morning.  They both did great!  The only problem that arose was their thumb/finger sucking habits are causing problems with their teeth.  Boo!  T sucks his pointer and middle fingers, and M sucks his thumb.  It's interesting to see how sucking the different fingers is actually affecting their teeth differently.  For the life of me I can't remember what she called the misalignments, but I could definitely see what she was talking about when I looked into their mouths.

Her suggestion was to get my hands on this special fingernail polish that tastes gross so they just don't want to suck their fingers.  I decided that first, I'd rather work on being consistent with reminders.  "Boys no sucking on your fingers, please!"

We went to the grocery store after their appointment, which put them way past their nap time.  So the usual pattern would be that they fall asleep in the car.  But that pattern also involves assuming the position.  T's fingers go straight in his mouth and he tugs on his ear with his other hand.  M's thumb goes straight in.  They seemed confused by me asking them to not suck on their fingers and ended up staying awake the entire ride home because of it.  Selfish me was actually fine with that because if they do fall asleep in the car, once we get home they refuse to continue napping and we end up with a very rough afternoon.  As soon as we got home, both boys went down for a nice long nap.  And I'm sure they sucked on their beloved fingers as soon as I shut the door.  But we have to start somewhere.

In our home, we're of the mindset that we'd like to nurture their behaviors around listening to us before resorting to outside measures (special nail polish, bribery, etc...).  I'm not saying we're perfect.  We have resorted to those kinds of thing with different scenarios, but it's not our first line of defense.  It seems to be paying off too!  In general our boys are good listeners, have a decent grasp of right/wrong and I'm not often dealing with screaming public tantrums.  We have our moments.  They are two after all.  But for our family this parenting method seems to be working.

So we'll see.  I'll share our results as they unfold (along with everything else we're changing in their lives).

Recap of our birthing class: "VBAC your way"

When we welcomed our gentlemen into the world in May, 2012, it did not exactly go as planned and it all culminated in having a crash c-section to deliver Mikah safely.  That experience has left serious emotional scars for both myself and Jason.  Back in December, when I found out that I was pregnant again, one of the first things I did was relived their birthday and had anxiety about the idea of giving birth again.

A few weeks back, I was at my midwife appointment with the lovely Louisa Whales and she asked if we had planned on any kind of birthing classes.  When I said I hadn't really given it much thought, she said there was an awesome doula in Seattle named Sharon Muza who taught an awesome class called, "VBAC your way".  Our plan is to have baby girl in a hospital with midwives attending.  Our hope is that I'll be in the 70% bracket of women who have a successful VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean).  And with baby girl being the little rock star she's been so far, I'm feeling very confident that all will go just fine.  Nonetheless, because of our previous traumatic experience, I decided to sign us up for the class.

It was kind of a big commitment because the class was in Ballard at 9:00 am and we live a good 90 minutes away.  When you throw our twins into the mix, we asked Jason's parents if they would be willing to take the boys overnight so we could relax a bit and not have to travel super early on Saturday.  They happily obliged and we were able to go on a date!  Seeing as the last overnight we had without the boys there was last July, it was awesome.

Saturday morning, we got up at our usual time sans the boys calling for us from the other room (so peaceful).  We got all packed and ready, had a surprisingly edible continental breakfast and headed for Ballard.  Traffic was nonexistent so we got to our destination with 30 minutes to spare and decided to grab coffee and a pastry at the bakery we saw across the street.  If ever you're in Ballard, Larson's bakery is worth the stop!  It's a well established Danish bakery with cases packed with both sweet and savory treats.  And the coffee was pretty darn tasty too. : )  The best part of this place for us was the fact that there weren't two little boys with us so we were able to fully sit and enjoy some quality people watching.

I looked at my clock and saw that it was probably time for us to head to class so we packed up and walked down the street to the building.  We weren't exactly sure where to enter, but thankfully spotted another couple in front of us with a very pregnant mama and followed them to the entrance.

The class was held in a cozy well lit room that thankfully had a working air conditioner.  Seeing as it hit 90 that day, we were all thankful for that.  The session started with all the couples introducing themselves.  Amazingly enough, one of the dads said he grew up in a small town in MN.  When I said that I did too and asked him where he was from, he said, "Mankato".  We looked to be about the same age, so it's likely we know some of the same people, but we were never able to chat about that, so it'll remain a mystery.  Even still, small world!

In an effort to finish this post and have time to get my chores done, here's an overview of the topics and activities that the class covered.

• We all shared our cesarean birth stories.  Lots of tears and pain for sure!  It was comforting to have others who could truly sympathize.
• Went over the 6 stages of Labor
• Lamase care practices
• Labor simulation involving a bowl of ice and experimenting with coping techniques.  That was probably on of our favorite/most useful parts.
• VBAC statistics: putting it into perspective.
• Sharing fears and concerns about our upcoming labor/deliveries.
• Exercises to assist in getting baby into an ideal birthing position.
• Techniques to help with back labor (counter pressure, asymmetrical movement, using a Rebozo)
• Ace in the hole positions for pushing.

It was a great class!  We both left feeling empowered with a clear idea of the direction we are going as we prepare for baby girl's arrival.  She gave us so many tools to pull from and for that I will be forever grateful.  Most of what she said could be taken out of a book, but her passion combined with her knowledge and experience gave the information so much more weight and I know I'll have her voice pop in my head when I come to those moments of self doubt.

There were a few big "Aha!" moments for me.

• Don't get fixated on one stage of Labor!  There's more to it than dilation.
• When it comes to childbirth, you're going to get there.  One way or another, you're going to get there.
• DEP:  When in labor, Drink, Eat and Pee constantly.
• I'm an adult and can make my own decisions when it comes to my care.
• Eating 6 dates/day in the final weeks of pregnancy will make you less likely to go overdue.
• The heaviest part of the baby is the back of the head so use gravity and get yourself upright!

One other story to share from the class was there was a study done in three major hospitals (can't recall where) that did an experiment and removed all the beds from their labor & delivery rooms.  They filled them with birthing balls, a birthing stool, a rocking chair and an assortment of other birthing tools.  At any time if the mother wanted to have her bed, it was brought to her swiftly.  No questions.  If she wanted any other medical interventions, they were made readily available.  But the result of this experiment was not so surprisingly that these hospitals experienced a lower c-section rate, fewer interventions and all around much more satisfied and happy mothers/families.  So Sharon's advice to us was that when we got to the hospital, to spread our stuff out on the bed.  It's a great place to see everything we brought easily!  I thought that was a great piece of advice.

Sharon was great!  I'd recommend her class to anyone.

Let the potty training begin?

Potty training...I've never met a parent that those words brought excitement and glee.  It seems that like everything in parenthood you just have to wing it.  I know there are many schools of thought on this topic, but ultimately it's a journey unique to every family.  Thankfully, I've always been a 'just wing it' kind of gal.

We'd been talking about potty training before baby girl arrives because the thought of diapering three at once just sounded like a crazy notion.  But as my due date approaches, I was starting to think that perhaps this was going to be future parents' problem.  However it seems our gentlemen have their own ideas.  And who knows.  Maybe they'll be potty training superstars that just do it!  That would be amazing...a girl can dream.

Nonetheless, about two weeks ago, they started displaying more of those readiness cues talked about by the experts.  Before bedtime, Tristan started asking to go sit on the potty.  He sits there, with my hands supporting him for about ten seconds.  Studies his man parts for a bit and then, "all done!"  Both boys have been doing this now.  It's pretty cute, but I would love if they actually did something while they sat there.

Our other new development is the urge to remove all of their clothing, diaper included.  It started during nap/bed time.  We'd find them naked in their cribs with soaked sheets.  Gross!  Our first solution was a rather ingenious suggestion by a seasoned parent and friend of mine.  She suggested we cut the feet off our footy pajamas and put them on backwards so they couldn't access the zipper.  Worked like a charm!  But then they started stripping during the day.  And then two days ago we had our first poopie party.  Thankfully those messes were rather contained, but still, not a happy mommy.

So today we got them their very own potties.  I made a huge deal about opening up the box they arrived in and it took no time for the boys to figure out what they were for.  Within a few minutes they were asking me to take off their diaper.  I thought, "This is great!  Yes!  You two are just going to figure it out all by yourself, aren't you?"  We spent a good 10 minutes sitting, then standing, then picking up their potties and moving them to a new position, then sitting again.  Sadly it didn't last.  When the initial excitement wore off and they started seeing them more as toys, I put them away and we had dinner.  After dinner, we tried again.  This was about 15 minutes after they'd finished eating, so I was hoping their bladders might be full.  But alas, nothing happened.  They like sitting on them though, and I'll take that as Step 1!

My plan for potty training is to slowly introduce the concept this week and then really start pushing it next week.  They both really like stickers, so I'm going to make charts for them.  They'll get a little sticker for sitting on the potty, and a big sticker for doing something.  I also want to make a big deal about personalizing their potties so they have a sense of ownership and individuality.  We're learning the alphabet right now, so seeing their T and M on their own potty might get them excited.  Another idea that sounded good to me was getting egg timers to add to the excitement of going potty at regular intervals.  Sounds good to me!

All in all, I have no idea if any/all of this will work or if it's a bunch of total bologna, but I have to start somewhere.  I'll keep you all posted.

Transitioning from renter to owner.

Last October, we bought our first house, and ten months later, are still working on getting settled.  I grew up in a somewhat nomadic family.  We moved every 1-3 years because of my dad's work.  And as far as I can remember, the only house my parents actually owned in my entire adolescence was in Arizona when I was five.  So the permanence of owning property is a totally new experience.

I've always been someone who thrives on set parameters.  So naturally, renting makes sense to me!  When you rent, you're limited on decor, layout, even furniture because unless you have the time, creativity or financial means to completely change your surroundings with each move it's impractical.  Living out of a suitcase?  No problem!  Planning and executing a closet remodel that fits your specific needs?  Panic!

It's an uphill battle that I'm working on changing.  And change it must!  With the arrival of our baby girl in less than three months (Yikers!) we have a lot of home improvements that need to be addressed.  Let's start with the gentlemen's room first.

On Wednesday, a lovely Amazon shipment will arrive with two twin mattresses, freeing up our crib for baby girl and ridding us of the fear of them hurting themselves climbing out of their beds.  Once those are here, we have to address storage.  Their dresser is also the changing table, which again will be moving to the nursery.  They have a huge closet, which is awesome, but no real organization to speak of.  I'm hoping to design it to be functional and praying it doesn't turn into pulling all the clothes within reach out of the closet every time they are alone in their room.  We also plan on putting together a reading area.  I made them big floor pillows for their birthday, and we just need to get the lumber to build them a set of shelves to proudly display their books.

Once that room is taken care of, we'll have to address the nursery.  Currently, it is being used as Jason's office, my craft room and our music room.  When all is said and done, it will be a well organized craft space for me and a peaceful pretty nursery for baby girl.  One big problem...where do we put Jason's office and our instruments?

We're looking for outbuilding designs so Jason can have a quiet dedicated space to work from without three little ones underfoot.  Whatever we decide to do, I'm not sure how quickly this project will happen because of the cost, but hopefully by next summer, he'll have a perfect space just for him.  In the meantime?  I'm not sure what's going to happen.  Thankfully babies are small and pretty flexible about home decor.

When we start making progress, I'll share some before and after pictures.  Fingers crossed it all goes well!

Twins + one

Today I am 27w3d pregnant with a baby girl.  If I carry her full term, our gentlemen will be 2 years and 4 months old when she arrives.  Are we crazy?  Nope.  As someone who believes wholeheartedly in God being the one guiding and blessing my life she is exactly what our family needs!  His timing might have caught us completely off guard.  I may have sobbed uncontrollably for a solid two hours the day I found out I was pregnant.  Was she planned.  Not even a little.  She is here because God knew she's just what our family needed.

For a long time I did day dream about having a third child and wondered how different carrying one baby would feel vs. twins.  It's amazing!  I am so small this time around.  At this point in my twin pregnancy I was measuring full term.  This time, I'm right on track.  There's so much less pain.  I'm sleeping well.  My energy level is so much higher, and the list goes on.  I'm sure if this was my first pregnancy I'd feel very different about things, but having the twins first has given me such a unique perspective.  I'm not exaggerating when I say that this pregnancy is a piece of cake and I could do it again in a heartbeat!  But then I remember that every pregnancy has it's own unique challenges, so I'm happy if baby girl is our final family member.  It would be awesome to end our journey to parenthood on a high note.

She's my healer.  Prior to the twins, we lost three babies to miscarriage.  As God should design it, her due date is three days shy of exactly six years since we lost our first child.  The first time I realized that it gave me the chills.  It would be so beautiful to bring it all full circle.

This pregnancy has also been healing for us because of how "normal" it's been.  My prenatal care has been on a normal schedule with absolutely no red flags to report thus far.  It's the first pregnancy where I've truly been able to relax.  My midwives have been such great cheerleaders and if all continues to go well, I'll be able to have this little one by VBAC.  That being said, I'm content with however she decides to make her grand entrance.

The other main difference this time around is that I have two very active and curious little boys to attend to.  They are great kids and when they act up, I simply remind myself that they're two and learning new boundaries every day. It's normal. So with them constantly underfoot, I often forget about baby girl gestating away in there.  It's at night, or rather after the gentlemen go to bed, that I have my pregnant mommy time...  If only there was a way to permanently imprint the feeling of a baby kicking you.  It's so incredibly special.

I feel so incredibly blessed that I am getting the chance to be pregnant one more time.  I'm thankful that I now fully understand the challenge of carrying twins really was.  And I'm oh so glad this pregnancy is so far a textbook experience.  I just pray that every day, I truly enjoy these things because I also know how fragile they are.  Being a mother has always been my wish, but I've learned that it was never my choice or my timing.  And might I add, I'm thankful there's someone else orchestrating things.  He does a way better job than I could ever imagine.

So I've been a little busy...

It's been a very busy and wonderful few years since I started (and failed to continue) this blog.  We were blessed with healthy twin boys in 2012, upgraded to a bigger car, bought a house in the woods and it seems like we reinvent ourselves at every turn.  But when you throw twins at first time parents, you have to!  Being able to roll with the punches and adapt are more than a way of life.  It's a way of survival.

I'm asked all the time about products we've found success with, schedules that work, and logistics in general.  A few of my favorite/comical moments involve grocery shopping, feeding, hair cutting and taking them in public by myself.  So I figured, now that life has normalized and I am a uber blessed stay at home mom, it's time to start writing down what I've experienced both for my future enjoyment as well as helping all of the twin moms I know.  Even if I only help one person, it's worth it!

As of right now, outside moms I have met through Mothers of Multiples groups, I know personally nine other moms of twins.  Nine people!  That's insane!  And I know what most people's first assumption is; there must be some fertility help in play here.  Nope.  All nine sets are the product of God's good grace.  Au naturale!  Crazy isn't it?

I'm hoping to write about my past experiences, but a lot of the last two years is a bit hazy.  So I'll focus instead on the present.  Right now, we have lots of exciting/daunting events coming up.  Potty training... This one scares me.  There's so much out there and much of it is vague.  So as we go through it, I'll be honest and share both successes and failures.  Another HUGE change coming up is the arrival of baby girl.  I'm due the end of Sept!  I'm sure there will be a lot of life lessons that come with her too.  But that's future Cari's problem.

If you have any specific questions, feel free to ask.  I'm here to help!