Twins + one

Today I am 27w3d pregnant with a baby girl.  If I carry her full term, our gentlemen will be 2 years and 4 months old when she arrives.  Are we crazy?  Nope.  As someone who believes wholeheartedly in God being the one guiding and blessing my life she is exactly what our family needs!  His timing might have caught us completely off guard.  I may have sobbed uncontrollably for a solid two hours the day I found out I was pregnant.  Was she planned.  Not even a little.  She is here because God knew she's just what our family needed.

For a long time I did day dream about having a third child and wondered how different carrying one baby would feel vs. twins.  It's amazing!  I am so small this time around.  At this point in my twin pregnancy I was measuring full term.  This time, I'm right on track.  There's so much less pain.  I'm sleeping well.  My energy level is so much higher, and the list goes on.  I'm sure if this was my first pregnancy I'd feel very different about things, but having the twins first has given me such a unique perspective.  I'm not exaggerating when I say that this pregnancy is a piece of cake and I could do it again in a heartbeat!  But then I remember that every pregnancy has it's own unique challenges, so I'm happy if baby girl is our final family member.  It would be awesome to end our journey to parenthood on a high note.

She's my healer.  Prior to the twins, we lost three babies to miscarriage.  As God should design it, her due date is three days shy of exactly six years since we lost our first child.  The first time I realized that it gave me the chills.  It would be so beautiful to bring it all full circle.

This pregnancy has also been healing for us because of how "normal" it's been.  My prenatal care has been on a normal schedule with absolutely no red flags to report thus far.  It's the first pregnancy where I've truly been able to relax.  My midwives have been such great cheerleaders and if all continues to go well, I'll be able to have this little one by VBAC.  That being said, I'm content with however she decides to make her grand entrance.

The other main difference this time around is that I have two very active and curious little boys to attend to.  They are great kids and when they act up, I simply remind myself that they're two and learning new boundaries every day. It's normal. So with them constantly underfoot, I often forget about baby girl gestating away in there.  It's at night, or rather after the gentlemen go to bed, that I have my pregnant mommy time...  If only there was a way to permanently imprint the feeling of a baby kicking you.  It's so incredibly special.

I feel so incredibly blessed that I am getting the chance to be pregnant one more time.  I'm thankful that I now fully understand the challenge of carrying twins really was.  And I'm oh so glad this pregnancy is so far a textbook experience.  I just pray that every day, I truly enjoy these things because I also know how fragile they are.  Being a mother has always been my wish, but I've learned that it was never my choice or my timing.  And might I add, I'm thankful there's someone else orchestrating things.  He does a way better job than I could ever imagine.